After decades of serving the community, Big Brothers Big Sisters of Southwest Virginia (BBBS) will close effective January 31, 2021.
Despite the unfortunate closure, Total Action for Progress (TAP) is honored to assume care of the program. TAP will facilitate the program’s 50 current matches. This will ensure children in the Roanoke Valley continue to receive services and mentoring.
Mentoring Program Will Live On
TAP will also take on the after-school tutoring program, outdoor adventures, and in-school mentoring programs. These programs are partnerships with public school systems and Roanoke City Parks and Rec.
The Big Brothers Big Sisters (BBBS) model of one-to-one mentoring carries a great financial expense. The BBBS board decided it is no longer financially feasible to continue under affiliation with the national organization. This is due to declining grant funding and donations over the years, and the difficulty of fundraising during a pandemic.
From BBBS Board President
“While this was a difficult decision, after careful consideration we feel this is the right move to prioritize our children and the mission,” said Laura Carini, BBBS Board President. ”While we are sad to close the area’s largest and longest-running youth mentoring program, we are confident it is the right choice. We are forever grateful to TAP and confident the organization provides the experience and resources necessary to best serve our children.”
— BBBS Board President
Introducing “Superhero Kids”
TAP will not use the name BBBS due to the expense of the affiliation fees. The mentoring program will become a component of TAP’s Super Hero Kids program, which focuses on healing trauma and restoring hope and connections for youth in our community. The mentoring component of Super Hero Kids will be called Super Hero Kids Connections.
The program will operate under the supervision of TAP Housing & Human Services Director Stacey Sheppard. TAP has many years of experience leading mentoring programs, including Virginia CARES, Y.A.L.E. (Young Adult Life Enhancement), and more.
From TAP’s CEO
Annette Lewis, TAP president states, “TAP commends Big Brothers Big Sisters of Southwest Virginia for its outstanding history of providing opportunities for the lives of both children and adults to be enriched. We regret that BBBS has to close and will do our best to continue the important mentoring work that has begun. TAP also looks forward to working with the current partners and adding new ones.
— Annette Lewis, TAP President & CEO
What is the Bringing Hope Home Campaign?
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In October 2020, we announced a new fundraising initiative: Bringing Hope Home.
This annual campaign was created to raise support for TAP. Funds that you contribute will go directly to programming that uplifts people right here in our community.
Our History and Our Future
For 55 years TAP has been helping people in southwest Virginia to live full and prosperous lives. We’ve proven we’re an organization that can change lives.
Since our founding, we have refused to accept poverty amid prosperity. TAP is constantly innovating to find the most effective solutions to the many-faceted problem of poverty, because we recognize that prosperity by itself will not get rid of poverty.
Bringing Hope Home in the News
Big thanks to all the media outlets who attended our campaign announcement! Click on their name to read and watch their coverage.
Head over to the Bringing Hope Home campaign page. There you’ll find out how the donations will be used, our campaign goal, the local businesses who have sponsored the campaign, a list of FAQs, and more.
2020 Cabell Brand Hope Award Recipient: Ted Edlich
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This year we are honored to award Ted Edlich, TAP’s former president, with the 2020 Cabell Brand Hope Award. His dedication to TAP’s mission has extended into his retirement years as he continues to give back to his community.
Early Life
Ted Edlich grew up in Greenwich Village in Manhattan and has spent most of his life in southwest Virginia. After serving as a middle school teacher and Presbyterian pastor, Ted came to TAP where he acted as Head Start director, director of community organization, and director of training before becoming president and CEO.
Dedication to TAP’s Mission
During his four decades at TAP’s helm, Ted helped to create education, employment, housing, and business development opportunities for thousands. Under his leadership, TAP served as an incubator for projects that have been replicated throughout Virginia and the nation. He has been committed to justice and reaching out to help families gain a good foothold in life.
A Passion for Learning
Aside from being a leader in human and community development, Ted has a passion for learning. His academic record includes degrees from the University of North Carolina, Union Theological Seminary, New York University, and Yale University, and an honorary Doctor of Letters from Washington & Lee University. He is also a licensed counselor, personal growth facilitator, and group development facilitator.
Widespread Recognition
Ted is the recipient of many awards. Among them is the Humanitarian Award from the National Coalition of Christians and Jews; Robert M. Coard Award for Innovation from the National Community Action Partnership; Southern Christian Leadership Conference Martin Luther King Jr. Award; and a resolution of recognition by the Senate and House of Delegates of the Virginia General Assembly. January 9, 2015, was officially named Ted Edlich Day in the five cities and six counties that TAP serves.
Not Slowing Down
Since stepping down from his position at TAP, Ted continues to be involved in consulting, counseling, training, teaching mindfulness meditation, writing, and public speaking. His book, Navigating the Nonprofit Rapids: Strategies and Tactics for Running a Nonprofit Company, was published in 2016 and features forwards from Senator Mark Warner and former Congressman Bob Goodlatte, among others.
In his spare time Ted has earned a first-degree black belt in Chinese Kempo Karate, climbed mountains across the country, and does water color paintings of places he has visited. He is also a family man devoted to his wife, five grown children, and four grandchildren. He is a good friend to many.
Ashley’s Story
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Ashely is a single mother; a survivor; a woman achieving her dreams—how your donations helped make it happen.
Poverty has a deeply disenfranchising effect. Your gift to TAP brings hope and opportunity to people in need. Watch the journey of a single mother who escaped domestic violence and overcame disaster to create a new path for her family with the help of TAP and people like you.
Your gift helps people in our community
TAP is a 100% local organization and all funds donated to Bringing Hope Home will go toward helping people right here in southwest Virginia.
“I thought, ‘You know: I am at the bottom. I might as well go for my dreams.'”
That’s how Ashley Wade describes the moment that she decided to follow her dream to be a doctor. It was an ambitious goal, especially considering how she had just uprooted her life. A single mother of four, Ashley was technically homeless, having returned to Roanoke to stay with family after a tornado had forced her to relocate from Greensboro. Ashley is an admittedly driven person, and she wasn’t motivated to simply restore her status quo—she wanted to use the setback as a chance to build an even better life for herself and her family. Our SwiftStart program gave her exactly the tools she needed to completely recalibrate the course of her life in just two years.
Domestic Violence Survivor: Learning to walk again
In Greensboro, seven years ago, Ashley had felt like the chaos of her previous life was finally settling. She had gone to Greensboro with her four children after domestic violence left her in the intensive care unit at Roanoke Memorial Hospital, relearning how to walk. In Greensboro, she found a job in human resources at the post office. While she dreamed of one day becoming a heart surgeon or anesthesiologist, the post office job provided for her kids and, importantly, was stable.
In April 2018, a tornado tore through the city and uprooted Ashely’s family once more. Unsure of what else to do, Ashley came back to Roanoke. She and her kids spent the next 12 months without a permanent home, relying on the care of family. “We had nothing of our own. I’ve never not been able to provide for my children. Depending on others was hard for me to do,” Ashley says.
Why find just another job?
As Ashley struggled to find another stable job, a thought struck her: Why find just another job? With literally nothing to lose, she knew that this was the moment to pursue the dream of becoming a doctor. She couldn’t put it off again.
To be a doctor, Ashley would need at least three things: a medical degree, job experience in healthcare, and the support to pursue both while raising four kids. A friend directed her to the Roanoke Higher Education Center to find help. It’s there that she recognized TAP on the directory.
“TAP has a lot of resources,” she remembers thinking, “and they offer a certified medical assistant program.” For Ashley, this was perfect. In need of a job, she knew that Carilion is a big employer in Roanoke, and in need of experience, the CCMA program could get her foot in the door of the healthcare field. She went into the office to see how TAP might help. Quickly, Ashley enrolled in SwiftStart.
As part of our focus on providing the whole family with services, we created SwiftStart in 2015 as a pilot program with the support of the Department of Labor. Designed to address the needs and barriers faced by both parents and children, its goal is to assist working parents to secure higher-wage jobs. The program helps participants find childcare and can pay for it while parents train for careers in healthcare, information technology, or advanced manufacturing.
It was the perfect opportunity for a single mom, new to the area, seeking to start a new career in healthcare. Ashley recalls her time in SwiftStart as frenetic. She was training for her medical assistant certification and taking classes at Mary Baldwin College (also in the Higher Ed Center). She credits the always-friendly SwiftStart staff in helping her adjust to the life of a mom/student/healthcare professional. “They were amazing. They always met me with a smile, and they always came through no matter what I needed,” Ashley says.
The Two-Generation approach
For Ashley, TAP’s two-generation approach meant enrolling her two-year-old in our Early Head Start program, which provides critical early education for young children up to two years old, as well as finding appropriate childcare for her other children at another local agency. The childcare took something off her plate. She says that children can feel their parent’s stress and the relief from worrying about her kids allowed Ashley to focus on school. “It was fun for them. They were able to get away from whatever we had going on in our family and just be kids,” Ashley says.
“They had solutions to all my problems…”
Childcare, of course, isn’t the only barrier for working parents. Searching for housing, getting needed car repairs, and simply finding the time to tend to the family are common roadblocks. Often, these problems hinder a job search or career advancement. “The SwiftStart staff is very resourceful,” Ashley says. “They had solutions to all my problems. Without them, I couldn’t have finished the program.”
The group supported each other like a family
Soon after Ashley met her fellow SwiftStart participants, including several other single moms, they began bonding over shared experiences. Some of her favorite memories in the program are the times when the group supported each other like a family. “Classmates were going through their own struggles. But in that class, we would help out the next woman. We were there for each other no matter what,” she recalls.
The thought of her kids kept Ashley running through the late nights. One of her top priorities is to be a role model to them. “Success is having a goal. I wanted better for us. I wanted to show my kids that Mommy’s never going to give up. No matter how hard it is, just never give up,” she says. While juggling all the responsibilities, she continued to work hard, and the hard work paid off.
I wanted to show my kids that Mommy’s never going to give up.
– Ashley, TAP Swiftstart participant
Ashley was offered a job before graduating from the program, pending her passing the final certification test. “My proudest moment was when I finished the test and saw that I passed. After all the long days and all the homework and studying, proving that I had the skills and knowledge was the best part,” she says.
Ashley started her new job as a certified medical assistant at Carilion in September 2019. She and her kids live in a house and the family has a new car. While she is proud of these achievements and loves her work, this is only the beginning for Ashley’s new life. “Before coming to TAP, I had less confidence about the future. It was fuzzy, but now it is a clear, bright picture. I feel like there are endless opportunities,” Ashley says.
Looking back on how far she’s come, Ashley has a clear message to those in her position: “Don’t be embarrassed to ask for help. Come to TAP. It will be the best thing you do for you and your family.” She’s already encouraged three friends to sign up for SwiftStart. Convincing them was easy after they saw her success.
For all her hard work, Ashley is also grateful to those who helped her when she felt at her lowest. She’s paying it forward. Ashley often mentors the current SwiftStart cohort. She feels like she can help those who feel hopeless. “I want to help others, especially single mothers, get on the right track,” she says.
The programs we offer are critical to building a stronger community. They help people like Ashley and countless others overcome what may seem like impossible challenges. About TAP’s programs like SwiftStart, Ashely says, “It’s important. It’s going to make a big difference in the long run for our community. And we need it. We really need it.”
After 55 years, we are continuing to help people in the Roanoke Valley who, like Ashely, are chasing a dream. “Go to TAP,” Ashley says. “TAP is empowering; TAP is liberating; TAP is helping me become a doctor.”
This year we are celebrating 55 years of service in our community. Over the decades, we have been committed to providing programs to help individuals and families achieve economic and personal independence through education, employment, affordable housing, and safe and healthy environments. This year’s unprecedented challenges have reinforced our calling: to create spaces that foster hope and allow equal participation in our society.
In 1964, the Economic Opportunity Act came to fruition through the leadership of President Lyndon Johnson. This important federal act was created to help the poor overcome generational poverty by providing important services like education, job training, and healthcare.
Cabell Brand, our founder and first chairperson of TAP, was passionate about creating meaningful, lasting change. Within a few months of the Act passing, Brand had managed to create the first official anti-poverty agency in the Roanoke area on April 28, 1965.
On our 55th anniversary, we recommit ourselves to that work, and ask you to join us, knowing its importance will only grow as we face our future as a community and a nation.
A Word from Annette Lewis, President & CEO of TAP
“TAP is proud of its 55-year history of being a leader in addressing the needs of those who have struggled to find hope in the midst of limited resources, skills, or opportunities,” stated Lewis. “These are challenging times for our country. Let us stand for justice, equality, and equity for those most vulnerable members of our community.”
From Sherman Lea, Mayor of the City of Roanoke
“As a former board chairman of TAP, I know the agency’s history and what important work they do for those less fortunate in all our communities,” stated Mayor Lea. “Join me and other mayors, chairs of boards of supervisors, council members, and board of supervisors in the jurisdictions they serve, to say congratulations on TAP’s 55th anniversary. Thank you for being such an important community partner.”
A look at the impact of TAP programs in the 2019 program year
TAP served close to 5,000 individuals in 4,743 households
254 families received safety-related repairs to their homes
976 individuals took advantage of free tax prep services
107 families were kept safe by providing safe exchange and supervised visitation
1,057 domestic violence crisis hotline calls were answered
6 businesses were started or expanded
100% of TAP Youth Employment Program students (most who have been court-involved) graduated the program and obtained employment
95% of veterans served obtained safe and stable housing
The financial and community support of these jurisdictions—as well as individual and corporate donors and volunteers—have been critical to the success of TAP.
Below are additional comments from representatives of the 11 jurisdictions that we serve in southwest Virginia, as well as a brief history of some of the programs that have been impacted by TAP.
Celebrating 55 years of service in the jurisdictions we serve
“The City of Salem is very proud of our long-standing relationship with TAP and we want to congratulate them on such a terrific achievement. The work they do with individuals and families is so important, especially in these challenging times. On behalf of our residents who have benefited from their programs, thank you and continue the great work.”
“The City of Covington is proud to have a TAP office within our city limits. This allows our local residents the opportunity to use the various TAP services on a more regular basis. As a TAP board member, I am delighted to be associated with an agency that goes above and beyond in helping those who find themselves in need of help. Congratulations on your 55th anniversary.”
“Congratulations TAP on 55 years of dedicated, supportive, collaborative work with our community and our Valley! Thank you for supporting individuals and communities to provide resources and support to be successful today and creating a sound foundation for tomorrow. Your tireless commitment is inspirational.”
“On behalf of the City of Buena Vista, I would like to congratulate TAP on their 55th anniversary. As one of the leading Community Action agencies in the State, TAP has been instrumental in helping many in our community through programs that focus on early child development, housing counseling and repair. Again, thank you for all you do for our community.”
Alleghany County – G. Matt Garten, Chairman, Board of Supervisors
“TAP believes in helping individuals and families achieve independence. We have seen the results here in Alleghany County and on behalf of our Board of Supervisors, I want to praise them for their efforts in standing with us to help those in need.”
Bath County – Edward T. Hicklin, Chair, Board of Supervisors
“TAP should be commended on their 55-year history of helping Virginians improve their lives. In Bath County they have made a positive difference in the lives of so many of our residents and we want to thank them for their hard work.”
Botetourt County – Billy W. Martin, Chairman, Board of Supervisors
“Congratulations TAP on your 55-year history as a Community Action Agency. As a TAP Board member for twelve years and the Chair of the Botetourt County Board of Supervisors, I have seen firsthand the results of the Agency’s commitment and dedication to those who need it most. Thank you TAP for caring.”
Craig County – Jesse Spence, Chair, Board of Supervisors
“Craig County is happy to have TAP as one of our community partners. The work they do with individuals and families is so important and many of our residents have benefited from it. Congratulations on this important milestone.”
Roanoke County – David F. Radford, Chairman, Board of Supervisors
“Roanoke County has partnered with TAP on various programs over the years and we want to congratulate them on such a terrific milestone. They are committed to their mission of achieving economic and personal independence for those in our community who need a helping hand to overcome their problems and improve their lives.”
“As a community action agency, TAP has become a shining example of what service means in our communities. They provide hope and inspiration to individuals and families who are underserved and living in poverty. TAP also serves some of our most vulnerable, like children and veterans. Congratulations on your 55th anniversary and thank you for all you do.”
TAP has a long history of creating or expanding programs in response to community needs.
Some of these efforts include:
1967 – Legal Aid Society of Roanoke Valley opened as a TAP delegate agency.
1972 – The League of Older Americans was established with TAP’s help.
1975 – TAP collaborated with local organizations to launch RADAR, a local transportation project.
1976 – TAP established its Domestic Violence Services.
1979 – Virginia CARES, later spun off into a statewide program, was established at TAP.
1981 – TAP enrolled the first students in Project Discovery, which later became a statewide program.
1990 – TAP’s CHIP program went statewide.
1994 – Business Seed Capital, Inc. was created to help people start their own businesses.
2002 – TAP led the effort to renovate the Dumas Center for Artistic and Cultural Development.
2007 – Sabrina’s Place opened its doors as the first supervised visitation and exchange center for victims of domestic violence.
2010 – TAP’s Veterans Services was formed.
2019 – TAP Books opened to generate revenue for the agency and support TAP’s mission by creating jobs and giving free books to people in need.
Have you experienced loss of income due to COVID-19 and had a hard time making rent or mortgage payments? The Virginia Rent and Mortgage Relief Program may be able to help!
To receive assistance, you must be at or below 80% of the Area Median Income. Assistance is available for payments past due as of April 1, 2020, and onward.
Rent and Mortgage Relief Program (RMRP) Update:
If you’re checking on an existing application or if you’re a resident of the City of Roanoke, please call TAP at 540.283.4800 for assistance.
On December 1, 2020, The Virginia Department of Housing and Community Development relaunched the Rent and Mortgage Relief Program as RMRP 2.0.
New applicants not within the City of Roanoke must contact DHCD for assistance.
For tenants: Call the RMRP Support Center at 703-962-1884 to begin an application.
Rita Joyce, our Supporter Spotlight this month, knows TAP better than most.
As a community mortgage specialist with Truist, she has assisted with our Housing Counseling classes for several years and has recommended first-time homebuyers to our down payment assistance program. More recently, Rita has become involved in our SwiftStart program, teaching financial education classes to participants. In addition to her direct work with TAP programs, she serves on our board.
A Heart for Service
Rita’s ethic of service drives her. “If my day can improve
the life of someone else I’m all in. I’m grateful for the knowledge I’ve gained
being in the banking industry thirty-plus years, and I believe sharing your
knowledge is important. ‘Reach one, teach one’ is how I describe it.”
With the SwiftStart program, which assists participants with
the job training and childcare needed to enter living-wage jobs, Rita
introduced a family budgeting piece. It’s a module out of Truist’s four-part
Bank on Your Success program. As Rita points out, most SwiftStart participants
are planning on increasing their income as a result of the program, and they need
financial education in order to best use that new income.
Rita focuses on budgeting because she’s seen that when
someone comes into wealth, they’ll often mismanage and lose it if they’ve never
been taught how to budget. “The budgeting piece is such an integral part of
your financial success,” she explains. “You have to see it visually. If you
don’t have a budget, you tend to overspend and waste.”
“We’re on a mission!”
But Rita’s class isn’t all about budgeting. She encourages
her students, “What are we on today? We’re on a mission!” Rita knows that many
participants have trouble believing in themselves. She shares her personal
testimony of struggles she faced earlier in her life, and tries to instill in
participants the understanding that with perseverance and motivation all things
are possible. “I give them my struggles but also my successes,” says Rita.
“It’s a challenge to go out and start something new. If they can push
themselves through it, success is what they’ll see.”
A Community Conversation on Racism and Inequality
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Last month, the United Way of Roanoke Valley and our agency hosted a panel discussion about racism and inequality. Watch the live recording on our Facebook page….CLICK HERE TO WATCH.
Actions speak louder than words. Sparking action, however,
often starts by expressing our ideals in words. (“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created
equal…”)
Racism and inequality are deeply ingrained in modern life—holding a commitment to justice and equality demands action to uphold our stated ideals. That’s why, in the aftermath of George Floyd’s murder in Minneapolis, we and United Way of Roanoke Valley (UWRV) decided to start with an honest conversation.
On Monday, June 15, we hosted a panel discussion on racism and inequality for human services leaders geared toward practical next action steps. Panel guests represented a broad cross-section of expertise from the region, including:
Dr. Nathaniel Bishop, senior vice president for administration at Carilion Clinic
Dr. Deneen Evans, tenured associate professor of social work at Radford University
Mr. Ray Bemis, a 30-year veteran of prevention and wellness work at Blue Ridge Behavioral Healthcare and founding member of Points of Diversity
Dr. Bush Kavuru, MD, associate professor of psychiatry at the Virginia Tech Carilion School of Medicine
Dr. Tracey Criss, MD, associate dean for clinical science at the Virginia Tech Carilion School of Medicine and vice president of medical staff affairs at Carilion.
A panel discussion, of course, isn’t an answer. However, it’s a start. It’s the kind of moment every generation has had to face—and we hope you will join us in meeting the moment with the thoughtfulness, determination, and above all else, hope, that our future requires of us.
A personal message from Annette Lewis, TAP President & CEO
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TAP Family:
The tragic death of George Floyd has shaken our nation. Unfortunately, it is not the first incident in recent weeks and months that has resulted in a sentence of death for African Americans who were convicted without a fair and just trial. Ahmaud Arbery and Breonna Taylor are two others that we “know of” in recent weeks that were unjustly killed.
Honestly, as a black woman with a black husband, four black brothers, a black son, and three black grandsons, I fear mistaken identity or unfair treatment of them if stopped by the wrong person in the wrong community. This should not be.
The tragedy of what is displayed before
our very eyes is simply what has come to the surface of an age old ill that
exists in our society—the ill of racism.
One would have thought that everyone accepted and chose as a guiding principle the beautiful words penned by Thomas Jefferson in 1776 that became the Declaration of Independence:
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
However, it is clear that the
Declaration of Independence did not become, and is not, the principle value of all
people. This was evident in the inhumane treatment of people during slavery, and
in the Jim Crow laws that sought to disenfranchise people of color and maintain
segregation of schools, transportation, and public facilities. It took
boycotts, sit-ins, and marches—including the bloody March to Selma—to bring
attention to the fact that not everyone believed that “all” are created equal.
Inhumane treatment and Jim Crow
laws led to extreme poverty across our country. As a result, President Lyndon
Johnson signed into law the Civil Rights and Economic Opportunity Acts of 1964.
He wanted a better society. He knew that mistreatment of any people was going
to lead to more pain and suffering. Along with good-hearted men and women of
different races, backgrounds, and political persuasions, he desired to replace
injustice with justice; inequality with equality; and inequity with fairness.
It was out of the Economic Opportunity Act of 1964 that community action agencies were born. TAP was formed in 1965. As is the nature of community action, we mourn the death of George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, and Breonna Taylor, and stand with those who stand against injustice, inequality, and inequity.
We stand against violence of any kind. We are all equal and should be treated as such.
TAP doesn’t stand alone—we have partners across the state who stand with us. There are agencies, board members, committees, and individuals of all races, creeds, and backgrounds that strive for equality and justice. There are police officers, like those who provide security for places like TAP Sabrina’s Place, who are devoted to protecting the safety of all citizens and feel the pain that we feel today.
Things you can do to help affect change
Perhaps you are wondering what you can do to learn and bring about real change—not just in words, but real acts that lead to change. I am proud of my daughter, Patrice Lewis, Esq., who penned the following list of suggestions of how we can move forward toward a better society.
Join an organization or donate to an organization that is actively addressing systemic racial issues.
Volunteer your time/resources to addressing these issues.
Read literature that addresses systemic racism and its effects on our current day lives and share what you learn with friends and family.
Check your friends and family members who continue to use racist and supremacist rhetoric. You can do it in a loving manner, but let them know you are uncomfortable and will not tolerate it.
Vote and challenge candidates, making sure they address issues regarding supremacy and racism.
Donate to a campaign that aligns with viewpoints that address supremacy and racism.
Hold local officials accountable for their current actions and ways they are contributing to the narrative.
Talk to your children about racism and supremacy.
Boldly denounce racism and supremacy. Not just quietly, outwardly and publicly.
Run for office or become a lobbyist/lawyer to help affect change. Use your position to honestly address these situations.
Join a citizen advisory council or other board to make sure that they are operating in ways that address supremacy and racism.
Challenge and hold your employers/employees (church leaders, etc.) accountable for their language, their ideals, and their systems.
Develop real friendships with members of historically underrepresented groups.
Be the change, start to evaluate how you contribute to the narrative and work on yourself.
Let’s begin where we are, and be the change that we want to see.
Annette Lewis TAP President & CEO
Fathers First Mentoring
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Editor’s note: the subject’s name has been changed at his request to protect his privacy.
Mark’s journey to becoming a role model and mentor to other fathers was unconventional. In fact, he only learned of his young daughter after she’d already been placed in foster care. Upon his discovery, Mark immediately began the uphill battle to gain custody of her. Our Fathers First program was there to help him navigate his newfound parenthood.
“I felt like I was wrestling an octopus because I had all
kinds of new constraints on my time and new things to do and I wasn’t getting
any guidance from anybody,” Mark recalls. “[Fathers First] gave me some hope
and insight and some macro knowledge of what I would be looking at.”
Fathers First Classes
Mark liked that Fathers First parenting classes included
people from all walks of life, and that there was a sense of camaraderie in the
class. In addition, it helped him that Fathers First didn’t just talk about one
age group of children, but covered every aspect and every area of parenting. “The
nuts and bolts [about parenting] I’ve been able to cobble together but early on
[Fathers First] was really huge for me,” he says.
Mark recalls having a Department of Social Services home inspection during the time he was taking the Fathers First class. “Up to a few hours before they were coming out I was still putting finishing touches on the house. I was going from being a bachelor to a single father and I had never given much thought to decoration. That was really hard to pull that together on top of everything else. [Fathers First] was really good about working with me and understanding that I had a lot of challenges.”
Giving Back
These days, Mark has full custody of his daughter and is busy taking care of her and also giving back by mentoring other fathers. While Fathers First runs classes for the general public, we also run similar classes inside local jails. Mark has volunteered as a pen pal to incarcerated fathers who are enrolled in our jail-based classes and who are eager to become positive influences in their children’s lives. With a master’s degree in creative writing, Mark has always worked on his communication skills and was happy to find a volunteer niche where he could put them to use. Right now he is exchanging letters with three incarcerated fathers.
Mark has found the key to mentoring incarcerated fathers is
to be open-minded and non-judgmental. He credits his own broad life experience
with helping him to accept incarcerated fathers where they are. Mostly, he finds
they feel guilty about missing time from their children’s lives. “I try to
encourage them not to focus on that but to focus on what they can do going forward,”
he says. “Their children need them and need their input.”
To support Fathers First and the work that we’re doing in the lives of fathers like Mark, please visit https://tapintohope.org/support-us/ and learn about making a financial contribution to TAP or becoming a volunteer.
TAP Head Start: full- and part-time care
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We are currently enrolling children ages 6 weeks to 4 years old for full- and part-time care.
Enroll your child in one of our child care programs and prepare them for kindergarten. Early Head Start is for children up to and including 2 years old. Head Start is a preschool program for children 3 and 4 years old.
Head Start and Early Head Start programs include important education and learning skills as well as health services and screenings, teaches good eating habits and manners, supports parents and promotes physical activity.
Services are available for the children’s families, guiding the parents toward playing a bigger part in their child’s growth, as well as services for pregnant mothers to make sure a child’s health and development start out well.
