An orange life saver is hanging on a white wall

How to Help Someone Who Is Experiencing Domestic Violence

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Nearly one in every four women and one in seven men have experienced domestic abuse. Despite how frequently it occurs, most don’t know how to help when domestic violence happens to someone they know.

One commonly asked question is, “Why don’t they just leave?”

Most domestic violence situations are complicated by multiple factors. Abusers use fears as leverage in order to trap a survivor or limit their options. For example, a male client once told us he stayed with his abuser because he felt it would make his kids safer. He said that if she was hitting him, then he knew she wasn’t hitting their kids. To him, this was far more important than his own physical safety. Further complicating the matter, many male survivors perceive that they will struggle in court to prove that they are victims of abuse and that they should retain sole custody of their children.

Listen and empower

Each situation is different. The best thing you can do to help is to be an advocate—listen and support, offer counsel, but always remember that abuse is a form of control. Empowering survivors means encouraging them to make their own decisions. After all, they’re the ones who have to live with the consequences.

Making sure victims don’t feel alone is also important. Abusers are often able to perpetuate their abuse because they isolate their victims. Refer them to a domestic violence hotline, such as our 24/7 help hotline at 540-580-0775. You can also click here to learn more about our program for domestic violence survivors.

How to help if you think someone is in danger

Learning these facts will help you become more informed, but it’s only the first step. Research and share information about the resources in your area. Recommending specific resources and how they help can increase the likelihood of the person using those resources—it could make the difference between life and death.

If you or someone you know has been abused, TAP Domestic Violence Services has a 24/7 hotline at 540-580-0775. If you are unsure of the local resources in your region, call the U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. We can all be a source of hope.

Dr. Johns Joins the Team!

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TAP has worked to improve the lives of those in our community for decades, from providing free childcare to protecting survivors of domestic violence to helping jumpstart new careers, and more.  TAP has mostly relied on grant funding; however, grant restrictions make it difficult to provide all of the services that families need.  Additionally, sometimes grants that meet major needs are discontinued adversely impacting the community. With more unrestricted funds, TAP can enhance its support of our community. For that reason, we’re excited to welcome Dr. David Johns, TAP’s newly hired Director of Fund Development!

Strengthening Local Communities

Dr. Johns graduated from Malone University with a degree in religious studies, earned master’s degrees in theology and library science, and was awarded a Ph.D. from Duquesne University. Dr. Johns then spent many years as a professor of religion and philosophy, teaching in Ohio and Indiana. He became increasingly involved with organizational leadership and became a college vice president in southeastern Kentucky. Most recently, Dr. Johns served as president of Ferrum College.

Throughout his career in higher education, Dr. Johns has been committed to improving the lives of those in need. After finishing his doctorate, he spent a sabbatical working with a nonprofit in Mexico City that focused on addressing poverty and strengthening local communities. As president of Ferrum College, Dr. Johns worked with local community leaders, elected officials, and other supporters to develop resources to support student success, especially students from families of great need. Throughout his administrative work in higher education, Dr. Johns has managed institutional budgets, overseen fundraising efforts, done strategic planning and assessment, and has been involved with alumni and community relations, all to support the institutions he has served.

Right at Home

Although he didn’t grow up in the area, Dr. Johns says that he and his wife, Susan, a speech therapist in the Roanoke City Public Schools, feel at home in the Roanoke Valley where they have lived for nearly six years. The mission of TAP resonates with him. Growing up in rural Appalachia, Dr. Johns has worked in and supported many small towns and communities. “It’s personal for me,” he notes. “If I had grown up in the Roanoke Valley, my family would have been served by TAP.”

We’re thrilled to have Dr. Johns join our family and look forward to seeing how his skill and passion for helping others can further TAP’s efforts in the communities we serve.

To donate to TAP, click here!

How One Class is Changing Teens’ Futures

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Before entering her first year at William Fleming High School, Ireland Maxey was nervous. Nervous about her new school, nervous about taking more difficult classes, and nervous about her future.

Expanding Horizons

During her first semester, she took African American Culture and Contemporary Issues (AACCI), a class offered by TAP in partnership with the school. It gave Ireland the guidance she needed to be excited about her high school journey and beyond. AACCI teaches the diverse history and culture of Africa and examines the experiences of Black people in America, all while teaching students a myriad of useful skills, from conflict resolution to mindfulness. Project Discovery, a TAP program, works in tandem with AACCI to prepare students for college success. Lateefah Trent, Project Discovery’s program coordinator, states, “Our biggest goal is to show students that there is something beyond the zip code they live in.” Once in class, Ireland blossomed.

“After a few weeks in class, she became less reserved,”says Antonio Stovall, who teaches AACCI. “She started asking meaningful questions about history and cultural identity. Then she began thinking more about college… Her overall outlook on life changed.” Now, thanks to AACCI and Project Discovery, Ireland plans to graduate high school early and attend college.

Thinking Beyond High School

“I want to major in psychology after learning about mindfulness in class,” says Ireland. “If not for AACCI, I would have never learned how to meditate. Now I use meditation any time I’m feeling stressed.” Recently, Project Discovery has taken to the outdoors, leading students on hikes, through ropes courses, and on other confidence building and stress-reducing excursions meant to both broaden students’ horizons and reinforce the benefits of outdoor activity on physical and mental health. Antonio sees these trips as integral to Ireland’s success.

Not many students have the initiative to participate outside of class, but “when we have activities outside of school, like hikes or wilderness survival classes, Ireland is always there,” he says.

Together, AACCI and Project Discovery have given Ireland a new perspective and the tools she needs to achieve her goals. Given the programs’ impact on her, Antonio says he sees Ireland “going on to college and doing great things.”

Learn more

To learn more about this program, email Lateefah.trent@nulltapintohope.org.