TAP Virginia CARES

Starting Over and Thriving: John, Virginia CARES client

It was getting late on an August Friday in 2011, in Covington, Virginia. All John LaFlamme had in the world were the clothes on his back and a copy of his high school diploma. He had no car, no home, no family in the area, and no ID. He had just been released from prison.

Time was not on John’s side.

Within a few short months he would either successfully become a stable member of the community or he would fail to meet his parole requirements and end up back in prison.

Leslie Matney, who was at the time the district’s chief of probation and parole, recalled that the first afternoon, the scope of the tasks that John needed to accomplish in a short amount of time was daunting.

The challenges extended as far into John’s future as she could see. “He owed thousands of dollars in court costs,” Leslie pointed out. “He was stuck in the Catch-22 of not being able to afford a permanent address without a job and not being able to get a job without being able to list a full-time address,” she said.

Finding work was another challenge

The Great Recession made getting a job extremely difficult. When John got out, it seemed no one was hiring. However, despite the employment opportunities in Covington being more limited than perhaps might have been the case in a larger city, there were also opportunities in Covington that would prove crucial to John’s success story. Many returning citizens like John exit prison without a support network. For them, the sink-or-swim nature of release makes the challenge to find the right tools critical.

Luckily, John Found Help

To connect returning citizens to the services and resources that already exist, Virginia created local Reentry and Community Collaboration Councils. The councils brought together state, local, private, and community-based organizations to make better use of existing resources. Ultimately, they help returning citizens build their skills, practice good habits, and keep their positive momentum to improve their chances of gaining good jobs and remaining out of prison permanently.

Upon his release at 4:00 p.m. on a Friday, within an hour, John had obtained a temporary place to stay at a motel and met up with TAP Virginia CARES’ Lawrence St. Clair. The two talked about the obstacles facing John and began to connect. John began to work with our Virginia CARES staff regularly and attended the computer classes and the Thinking for a Change program there. He volunteered. He used all the tools that CARES offered to turn his hard work into tangible results.

Slowly, John gained momentum. Through his volunteering in the community, he made a connection with Debbie Barber of Motor-Vation Lawn Care, who hired him part-time and taught him landscaping. With a work history and references on his applications, John eventually found full-time employment with benefits. He went from staying in a motel to renting a small garage apartment, which he renovated, to owning the house in front of the garage apartment.

Thriving Today

Today, he is active in the faith community and serves as a board member for Virginia CARES, Inc.—where he continues to work alongside former Chief of Probation and Parole Leslie Matney. Reflecting on John’s progress and his role on the CARES board of directors, Leslie summarized the value of John’s progress as a source of experience and encouragement for the whole organization: “To have John’s perspective, to have that voice on our board is so valuable.”

When asked about the key to his success, John’s answer is almost a perfect mirror image of Leslie’s. Her career in probation and parole and its lessons of building a community of support for returning citizens have led her to conclude that “it takes a village” to help formerly institutionalized people. John, meanwhile, reflected on his story and what he most often shares with those he mentors now: “Nobody can do it by themselves.”

Click here to find out more about our Virginia CARES program.

TAP Veterans Program

Working Together to Serve Our Nation’s Veterans

How TAP works with the local VA Hospital to help end veteran homelessness

When the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs announced the ambitious goal of ending veteran homelessness in 2009, the agency knew that it would need to do things differently to make the impact it wanted. Its new plan involved bringing more partners to the table to make the care veterans received truly comprehensive.

As part of the Salem VA Medical Center’s efforts to help reach that goal, Katherine “Kate” Donaldson serves as its eyes and ears in central and western Virginia. As the outreach worker for the VA’s Healthcare for Homeless Veterans program, Kate is not just the first point of contact for veterans living in homeless shelters in Roanoke, Lynchburg, and Staunton, but also a hub for dozens of supportive service programs for the veterans she works with.

Since she joined the Healthcare for Homeless Veterans program four years ago, she has worked closely with our Supportive Services for Veteran Families (SSVF) program. She describes the working relationship with her SSVF counterpart and TAP employee Evelyn Jordan as not merely a point of contact, but as an extremely close and trusted colleague, emphasizing that they have joint outreach sessions and rely on each other to help meet the needs of the hundreds of veterans they meet each year. “I know her program like the back of my hand and she knows my program like the back of hers, so if anyone comes into TAP and she thinks they’d be appropriate, she can give them all the information about my program that they need to know, and vice-versa.”

In addition to all her efforts to meet veterans firsthand and make sure they can get into the programs they need, Kate also oversees another program—Housing and Urban Development-Veterans Administration Supportive Housing (HUD-VASH)—that works in tandem with SSVF to help end veteran homelessness.

“HUD-VASH does not help with security or utility deposits, but SSVF is able to provide that,” she explained. “And then there are clients that SSVF sees that don’t have income, and won’t have it soon, so without HUD-VASH they would be sitting in shelter a very long time without being able to get housed.”

For the nation’s veterans facing homelessness, service providers collaborating isn’t a question of making efficient use of available resources—it’s the only way to start closing the service gaps that veterans can fall through.

For information or to donate, please click here.

why don't they leave_TAP Domestic Violence Services

Someone you know has likely suffered through domestic violence

Domestic violence is common. Very common. About one in every four women and one in seven men has experienced it. Despite how frequently it occurs in our society, the myths about domestic violence can cause us to do the wrong thing when trying to help.

In my work assisting domestic violence survivors, the question that I’m asked most frequently is “Why don’t they just leave?”

The truth is that most domestic violence situations are complicated by a number of factors. An abuser can use different fears as leverage in order to trap a survivor or limit their options. For example, a male client once told me he stayed with his abuser because he knew that it would make his kids safer. He said that if she was hitting him, then he knew she wasn’t hitting their kids. That need to be close to his kids, and to have firsthand knowledge they were safe, was far more important than his own physical safety.

And, further complicating the matter, many male survivors perceive that they will struggle in court to prove that they are victims of abuse and that they should retain sole custody of their children.

Where to start?

Each situation is different. The best thing you can do to help is be an advocate—to listen and to support, offering counsel, but always remembering that abuse is a form of control, and empowering survivors means they must make their own decisions. After all, they’re the ones who have to live with the consequences.

With that in mind, one of the best things you can do for someone is to make sure they don’t have to navigate a complex, dangerous situation alone. Refer them to a domestic violence hotline, such as TAP’s 24/7 help hotline at 540-580-0775. Abusers are often able to perpetuate their abuse because they isolate their victims.


Three common myths

Seeing past all the myths and misunderstandings about domestic violence goes a long way in developing a helpful, supportive perspective.

Myth #1:
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ONLY HAPPENS IN POOR FAMILIES.

Domestic violence occurs throughout all levels of society. There is no evidence that suggests that any income level, occupation, social class, or culture is immune from domestic violence. At TAP DVS we see a wide range of clients, from clients with no income to professionals with PhDs. The HBO short series Big Little Lies demonstrates this phenomenon and is a great example of how common abuse and violence are in many relationships.

Myth #2:
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS ALWAYS PHYSICAL ABUSE.

Domestic abuse and intimate partner abuse do not always leave a bruise or a broken bone. In fact, the majority of clients that we see have experienced other types of abuse like financial, mental/emotional, sexual, coercion, harassment, stalking, and poly-victimization (multiple types of abuse). Sometimes the emotional and financial abuse leaves a larger scar than the physical abuse. The feeling of another person controlling your life has profound and lasting effects; these wounds can take years to heal.

Myth #3:
VICTIMS HAVE THE TYPES OF PERSONALITIES THAT ATTRACT ABUSIVE PARTNERS AND ENCOURAGE ABUSE.

This is a form of victim-blaming and it is very common in our society. A number of studies have determined that there is no standard set of personality traits among victims of domestic violence. It is helpful to remind ourselves that the batterer is responsible for the battering, not the victim. We often turn the table back on the victim in abuse cases, especially assaults and sexual assaults, instead of rightfully placing blame on the abuser. Remember: no one asks to be raped, beaten, or abused.


What to do if you think someone is in danger:

Learning these facts will help you become more informed, but it’s only the first step. Learn about the resources in your region in case you need to help someone out of a situation. If you’re worried about someone, recommending they seek out resources is much more likely to be successful if you can name some of those resources and how they can help—it could make the difference between life and death.

If you or someone you know in the Roanoke region has been abused, TAP DVS has a 24/7 hotline at 540-580-0775. If you are unsure of the local resources in your region, call the U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. We can all be a source of hope!

Written by the director of TAP’s Domestic Violence Services