As the holiday season approaches, Total Action for Progress (TAP) is asking local businesses, schools, civic groups, and community members to help make the holidays brighter for children enrolled in TAP’s Head Start and Early Head Start programs. TAP is requesting contributions for approximately 125 children across Southwest Virginia to ensure every child receives a special gift this season.
Each child will receive gifts totaling approximately $50, that may include age-appropriate toys and essential clothing items such as coats, hats, gloves, and shoes. TAP is currently looking for assistance with 16 classrooms, each with 8 to 15 children.
“This is an opportunity to truly make a difference for families who are already stretched thin financially,” said Ramona Wray, Interim Director of TAP Early Head Start and Head Start. “For many of these families, the cost of holiday gifts is simply out of reach. By providing a full class with gifts or offering financial support at any level, organizations and individuals relieve some of the financial burden on low-income families while ensuring that each child experiences the excitement of receiving holiday gifts.”
How You Can Help
Option 1 – Donate funds of any level to sponsor a full or partial class, allowing staff to handle the shopping.
Donations of any amount may be made online on the TAP donation webpage by selecting the designation category of “Education and Employment” and typing “Head Start Holiday Gifts” in the comment box below. As an alternative, checks with “Head Start Holiday Gifts” on the memo line may be mailed or delivered to TAP – HS Holiday Gifts at 302 2nd Street, SW, Roanoke,
Option 2 – Purchase gifts for a full or partial classroom.
Organizations or individuals interested in this option will be matched with a specific classroom of 8-15 children and supplied with details such as clothing sizes and toy preferences.
All gifts should be unwrapped and delivered to TAP no later than December 16, 2024.
To learn more about this option, contact Crystal Fernatt, Supervisor of Monitoring and Compliance, at (540) 309-5016 or crystal.fernatt@nulltapintohope.org.
Why Your Sponsorship Matters
Families served by TAP’s Head Start and Early Head Start programs have incomes which are below the poverty line and often face challenges to meet basic needs such as rent, utilities, and food. Holiday expenses create an unmanageable financial burden many cannot afford.
“By stepping in to sponsor these gifts, you’re not just giving toys or clothing. You are also giving hope to families in your community,” said Fernatt. “These gifts bring joy to children and ease financial stress, ensuring that every family can celebrate the holidays with dignity.”
Audre Lorde once called us to “consciously study how to be tender with each other until it becomes a habit.” There is, on this front, still much work to do.
Modern life has granted us an astoundingly high standard of living, from smart washing machines to virtual teleconferencing in real time with people halfway across the globe using a computer small enough to fit in our pockets. However, we clearly haven’t figured out how to end domestic violence, which continues to terrorize individuals and families in the privacy of homes all across the nation.
Almost one half of all women and 2 of every 5 men have experienced intimate partner violence in their lifetime.1
An average of 24 people per minute are victims of rape, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner in the United States — more than 16 million women and men annually.2
Every minutethere is an individual living through a moment of fear, possibly terror, pain, and trauma, with the person they once and perhaps still love. It feels invisible, but there are always signs.
We know those moments are often preceded by patterns of controlling behavior and psychological abuse. Abusers will do anything, like isolate their partners, shift blame onto economic circumstances, or claim it was only alcohol or drugs that made them violent. They will control bank accounts, forbid their partners from working, gaslight, and even claim to have acted in self-defense to avoid accountability. However, the pattern is almost always there—whether we are looking for it or not.
“last time he swung the bat, laying flat I wondered, what a way to spend a dime, what a way to spend the time… scared all the time, one more reason why the world is dangerous.”
It may not be love—but even in today’s society, this level of violence is alarmingly common.
1 in 4 women, and 1 in 7 men (over 18) in the US have experienced severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime3
Each year, about 2.3 million people are raped or physically assaulted by a current or former partner.4
Flannery O’Connor wrote, “The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.” It feels almost impossible to see the numbers as anything close to normal. But despite the clear prevalence of domestic and intimate partner violence, we do not, in fact, have to accept that violence as inevitable. We can—and must—decide what environments we allow our children to be raised within. It matters because the scars of those moments impact a person for an entire lifetime if left untreated.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Among the smells of pumpkins and familiar spice blends, fresh hay bales, and the autumnal arboreal fireworks, we know the splendor of the season can mask untold horrors all around us. It’s a bittersweet time of year.
While, teenagers and children around us are suffering from and witnessing the violence of abusers.
Annually an estimated 3.3 million and 10 million children are exposed to adult domestic violence.51 in 4 female and 1 in 5 male survivors first experienced DV as a child.
As we celebrate survivors, we mourn as well.
Domestic violence may be the leading cause of Child abuse fatalities in the US.7
1/3 of female murders are perpetrated by intimate partners. A gun increases the risk by 500%.8
85% of children’s (under 13) gun deaths occur in the home, 1/3 of those deaths are connected to Domestic Violence.9
Between 2015 and 2022, nearly 2 in 3 child and teen victims of mass shootings died in domestic violence incidents.10
The Impact of Violence
Locally in Virginia11, and Roanoke12, aggravated assaults due to domestic violence are rising. TAP-DVS continues to see record numbers of requests for service year after year since 2020. As the violence, rises, however, so does our commitment to act. We remember, again, the words of Audre Lorde:
“I write for those (women) who do not speak, for those who do not have a voice because they were so terrified, because we are taught to respect fear more than ourselves. We’ve been taught that silence would save us, but it won’t.”
Domestic violence is famously able to leverage other forms of discrimination to hide—with terrible consequences. Women of color and primarily African American womenexperience Domestic Violence in the greatest numbers a cross the races.
4 out of 10 non-Hispanic Black women, American Indian, or Alaskan Native women, and ½ of multi-racial non-Hispanic women experienced DV in their lifetimes. This rate is 30 to 50% higher than White non-Hispanic, Hispanic, and Asian women.13
In a recent paper published in the Lancet compiling CDC data from 1999-2020, African American women were six times more likely to be murdered than White women, and 51% of those homicides were DV related.14
Of further concern is the vulnerability of our LGBTQ community. Research shows LGBTQ, adults and youth experience DV assaults, and sexual abuse at higher rates than their CIS gendered peers.Specifically, 44% of lesbian women and 61% of bisexual women experience DV at higher rates.15 *
How This Ends
We continue to strive to be informed and vigilant for ourselves, for our own loved ones, and our neighbors, our coworkers, the people we see each and every day as we go about our lives.
The numbers show us the violence is all around us. Someone you wave hello to today will have been directly affected by domestic violence in the course of their lives. Let’s make sure they know we do not accept that level of violence as normal. Let’s make sure they feel safe asking for our help. Let’s let them know we are working to make a world in which domestic and intimate partner violence don’t have a place—where instead, we find healing and tenderness thriving everywhere we look. It starts today.
This month we acknowledge the courage, and fortitude of Domestic Violence survivors everywhere: those who made it to the phone, walked through TAP’s door, called a friend, or found help any other way. We honor all of you, and we remember our silent survivors, as well. Let us gently remind you we are here. You are not alone.
If you want to get involved in ending domestic violence, your voice and your courage are urgently needed—and can start making a difference today. If you don’t know where to start, please consider learning about how we: END DV victim blaming, and educate yourself on ways to help as a bystander, witness, or confidant. Volunteering, donating to your local advocacy agencies, collecting household goods for families who are fleeing domestic violence and starting over are also ways to help. There is so much we can do, and it starts with being informed.
READ MORE, LEARN MORE:
The more you know about the signs and dynamics of domestic violence, the better you are at seeing the warning signs early—in your life, and in others’ lives. The following resources are a brief survey of some of the relevant trends, facts, and provide a picture of what’s happening in our country. It is, however, just a starting place.
JM Ford & Associates supports TAP through transitions
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Jeff Ford is President and Senior Account Executive of JM Ford & Associates. He describes his firm as “Insurance innovators.” The phrase applies to how the company handles plan design, carrier mix, and specialty services. Primary focus is on employer group benefits, Medicare, and individual health insurance needs. “There is so much information and misinformation out there about insurance,” Jeff explains. “We help clients work through the minutia.”
The firm supports employer groups ranging in size from 2-2,000 employees. “We do every core benefit – health, dental, vision, life, disability, long-term care – anything that touches an employer benefit plan we have access to or do,” he explains. Forty percent of his business is Medicare. “Ten thousand Boomers are aging into Medicare every day,” he says. Insurance carriers pay JM Ford & Associates directly. This means most clients don’t pay the firm a fee for services. The exception is consulting contracts.
“We make sure we are appointed with every carrier that does business in Virginia,” Jeff explains. Firm agents customize solutions for a particular client’s needs.
Jeff is a big believer in giving back to the community. JM Ford & Associates is an Inspire Level investor with TAP. They’re also a corporate sponsor for the Children’s Trust. The firm supports Taubman Museum, Good Samaritan Hospice, and Attic Productions too. Jeff doesn’t like promoting himself or his company. He says he’s willing to share his story to encourage others to step up. “I’m a small agency, but hopefully it gets other small businesses to realize they should be helping out too.”
Supporting TAP
“When I first started working with TAP, they faced an issue of not having enough people on their plan” Jeff recalls. That was 13 years ago. He found a plan offering more flexible eligibility. Then he built up enrollment. A TAP health reimbursement account now keeps benefit and premium costs down.
“A lot of what is perceived that we do is we market and shop and RFP the different plans, but really where an agency is supposed to earn their money is all the behind-the-scenes service,” Jeff explains. “Health insurance can be very time intensive. One of my key jobs is during renewals, fighting the rate hikes and getting the best plans we can get our hands on.”
“I appreciate TAP every day for what they do,” Jeff says. “Every time I think I know what all their departments do, I find out there are more departments doing more stuff than I knew about. Their reach touches the entire Valley in one way or another, and I can’t speak highly enough about that. The executive team and upper management breathe and bleed TAP.” Angela Penn is the third TAP President & CEO he’s supported. Jeff stays in touch with former agency leaders Annette Lewis and Ted Edlich. “I value TAP not just because they’re a client, but because of what they do.” JM Ford & Associates celebrated it’s 20-year anniversary in May. Clients Jeff brought with him from his prior employer are still with him today. “The value I place on my clients is second to none,” he says. “That’s why we try to do everything humanly possible for them, because I wouldn’t be in business without them.”
